art and war of dreaming
I think that dreaming is supposed to be a restorative state, but it’s not like that for me.
When I was in my early 20’s I had experiences that somebody was coming into my dreams and stopping me from breathing. It happened so frequently I would wake up hyperventiallating and gasping for air.
It got to a point where I didn’t sleep for almost 2 weeks, and then would only sleep around Myste because I was afraid to go to sleep. Then I had a dream and I killed some dark invisible presence in my dream, and I never had that phenomenon again. But I remember how terrified I was in waking life.
Now it seems I have two kinds of dreams, ever. Prophetic, where it happens in the near to immediate future. Or Epic, where I wish a cinematographer were travelling with me through my sleep to make a movie of it.
And lately, I dream of sorcery and magic. All of the time. Fighting other sorcerers. Now I wasn’t really into magic or nerdy magic games when I was a kid. I was into science fiction and reading, but I’m not a movie watcher. I’ve never owned a television. I don’t know how so many of these images get into my head. But they do, and they happen all the time.
So quite often I wake up still tired, and kind of dazed.
If it’s ‘just’ a prophetic dream, then I know in no time I”ll see the person I dreamed about, receive a phone call or email or something in the very near future. Or I’ll find myself in the exact scenario I dreamed about previously.
But if it’s one of these epic dreams there’s this kind of fog and funk that lingers over my brainwaves for hours if not days.
Online is a bunch of mystic bullshit that scientifically oriented me cannot swallow for half an instant. I’m no fucking Toletic warrior dreamer or some other such thing. But if I must dream, I’d like to be able to see the relevance in my life…
But I guess that’s not how subconscious things work right?